To the darkness I would have never turned,
if it had not been for such a crime unjust,
though you grow within a home unearned,
what shall you do when I am dust?
On my vital essence you feast and dine,
growing round and plump with your greedy lust,
bathing yourself in my heart’s red wine,
on what shall you feast when I am dust?
If I had known my bulwark would fade and wane,
and your clones would rally to wrest my trust,
I’d have cast you out and seen you slain,
alas, I’ll have my victory when I am dust.
Today I’m speaking about a particular organism that is beloved by a great number of people. And my intention is to expound upon why I do not find this particular organism cute or lovable or worth revering, especially when one beholds the myriad other wonderful organisms found—and are being found—on this planet.
I know not everyone may be familiar with the name Ailuropoda melanoleuca. However, I am fairly certain the reader has undoubtedly guessed that I mean to refer to the giant panda. Some people might not like what I have to say about the panda. But remember dear reader, these are only my opinions. Feel free to disagree and protest. I welcome it.
Continue reading “My Dislike for Ailuropoda Melanoleuca”
A dear friend of mine has spent—and continues to spend—a portion of his free time cultivating a vegetable garden. Nothing short of a private horticultural marvel, it has yielded large and delicious victuals that have resulted in tasty creations. Although impressive, perhaps I’m talking this humble garden up too much. When speaking about vegetation destined for consumption, especially when discussing food in general, it’s easy to regurgitate gobs of meretricious superlatives which more often than not appear so contrived that they would even confuse the diamond-encrusted gurus of the world. Speaking of superlatives, I also immediately think of Louis C.K. and his skit about us going for the “top-shelf” words. But I digress.
My friend derives quite a bit of pride and joy from this little plot of land, carefully tending to the various vegetables and herbs, and planning dishes based on the days harvest. All mortals that have never beheld the garden are promptly given a tour and are generously offered vegetables to take home. One could say that the garden gives material form to my friend’s kindness and generosity. These wonderful qualities are further exemplified in the meals prepared for friends and family utilizing the home-grown ingredients.
It’s quaint and endearing that my friend has found such a satisfying recreation and I can’t help but feel happiness and gratification. It is truly wonderful.
Continue reading “The Simple Pleasures”
Life is the evolution of the self, wherein one travels and communes with others so that we may better understand ourselves. We are deeply affected by all our experiences, inexorably changing to adapt to the pandemonium we call of life. All experiences leave marks some more visible than others.
The favorable kinds are happily subsumed by every cell, every tissue, and every organ. As a result, the heart beats with conviction, the brain bathes in its rich lessons, while the mind is left to soar beyond the confines of infinity.
The unfavorable kinds gouge deep wounds which stifle the breath, dim the soul, and narrow the vision. However, life has conferred upon us the capacity for regeneration whereby our deep wounds heal and only scars remain. But the wearer, now healed and learned, bearing the scars of one’s own painful origins may once again take great breaths and rekindle the flames of their heart in order that they confront the future head-on.
Why does it taste so good?
Why is it so cheap?
Why is it so unhealthy?
I occasionally find myself breaking my “diet” when my daily gruel bores me. Let me explain the quotation marks in the previous sentence. I hate the word diet. It’s one of those fancy buzz words the public loves to overuse like superfood, healthy (or unhealthy), organic, and all-natural. Diet—and its odious brethren—belongs to a group of inane and trite words used in food and supplement propaganda attracting droves of sheeple, the credulous, semi-literate consumers who insist that a claim must be true because it is endorsed by a celebrity. I think diet is so spelled for a reason; die is the root of the word because one’s sanity (often alongside one’s finances) is excised and extinguished. Sanity is destroyed piecemeal by diets and all the myths, pseudoscience, and, frankly, bullshit promulgated alongside them.
As I was saying, delicious morsels of fast food periodically find their way to my mouth. Burger King and Taco Bell are my favorites and are the two I can’t seem to shake off. Humans aren’t perfect. I know, a quaint platitude, but it is the facet of the gastronomical pornography that follows.
Continue reading “Fast Food Recidivism”
Bad drivers are all around us. It would seem that vehicular prescience continues to elude the public at large, despite being one of the most viewed posts on my blog (which isn’t saying much). Once again, it is up to me to advance the clarion call for more proficient, competent, and alert drivers. I only hope it reaches farther than the news feeds of my Facebook friends.
Okay, so I wasn’t entirely forthright. Insofar that this is an arbitrary list of suggestions to create better drivers for the benefit of society, it is more a list of things that piss me off and I just wish to make other drivers aware.
I’ll begin with my outline:
- The Shoulder Is Not A Lane
- Proper Lane Etiquette
- Get The Fuck Off The Phone
So, let’s begin.
Continue reading “A Plea For Better Drivers”